How Long Till You’re Over Him?

“I mean sheesh, it’s already been 2 weeks,” says best friends everywhere. But getting over someone is frankly easier said than done. Cuffing season has officially come to an end, and summer is on the horizon. So are you over your ex?

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The average 20-something year old woman moves on in the length of said failed union divided by 2. “Science” says a year and a half. It all is subject to how invested you were in the relationship. It also has to do with who breaks up with whom.

In the case of getting broken up with on my birthday, my magic number happened to be 6 months. Thanks to technology (and the beloved cloud) no matter how many times I deleted pictures of my ex and me they popped back up. This particular time here these pictures came. Happy, smiling, close, and looking like there was no end to our bliss. I waited for the pang of discomfort. I braced for the cringe and the eye twitch.

Nothing came.

Only 6 months! I was also in shock at the speedy recovery due to the devastation I experienced early on. Heartbreak sucks, lets face it. I kept my friends close during that time. Got back to prioritizing myself first. Traveled a bit. The basic break-up recovery plan. Yet no matter what I did before the 6-month mark I’d see one picture and break. Sadness comes in waves at the most inopportune times.
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There is no exact formula for getting over someone. The one thing I have learned from the current ex is that clear cut is the way to go. Thanks to him completely cutting me off I was able to get over him exponentially faster than relationships before. For that, I am grateful.

 Rules #1 through #3… whatever you do, don’t go back. Actually, make that rule #4 as well. Delete their number is rule #5. This rule is especially important for the drunken nights to come with your girls. Funnily enough, the thing we fought most about during the relationship is rule #6… delete all traces of the ex’s face. I always thought there was a more grown up way involving keeping old pictures. Frankly cold turkey delete is the best practice for all ended relationships.

 The most important thing to remember is that life goes on. One of my good friends reminded me constantly that “everything happens for a reason.” I’m not in total belief of that. I do say that heartaches are blessings in disguise. It has been true in my situation anyway. How will you make the most of it?

If you want to check out more on Jo, the author of this piece: 

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4 Comments

  • Reply
    Cristina R.
    March 22, 2016 at 3:48 pm

    True! I made the best of it by keeping family and friends close. I did things that made me happy, kept busy volunteering, working, gardening! I made sure to reward myself for working hard and learned that splurging on myself every now and then didn’t mean I was selfish. I traveled to far away places and fell in love with nature. And during that journey of self discovery…my true love found me ❤️

  • Reply
    Jen
    March 23, 2016 at 2:44 pm

    What is your advice for someone like in my situation. I was dating someone for 3 years we lived together and shared everything. He knew that I wanted to get married and have children in the future. He also agreed that’s what he wanted more children (had a child from a previous marriage). Come 3 years alter he breaks up with saying he only sees his child and him in his future. Devasted I left moved back home with my family which was out of state. Completely deleted him from everything. I told him I didn’t want communication what so ever. I was strong the whole time after our break up. He occasionally would text me but I never responded and deleted the messages. Well less then a year later I come to find out he is having a baby by someone he met 6 months ago. I’m still in shock by the whole thing. I don’t know if I should even cry or just let the anger/pain go.

    • Reply
      Andreea
      March 28, 2016 at 7:16 pm

      that is terrible:( i’m sorry. It was probably not meant to be with you guys. There is someone out there for you so don’t be discouraged. i have a hard time connecting with people. Just gotta be patient.

  • Reply
    Jessica welcome
    March 24, 2016 at 9:55 am

    Great writing..my hair dresser told me, “to get over someone, u need to get under someone:)”

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