- Be Slow to Speak, Quick to Listen
What’s the end goal, here? If your goal is to fight, get your point across, and feel better about yourself in the moment, then losing your anger and “venting” about all the ways the other person wronged you is easy to do. It also won’t get you anywhere. Make an attempt to truly understand the other person’s side of view, and this can be done only when you listen to them. Don’t just let them talk, but seek to understand with a heart determined to mend what is broken. Before you open those two powerful lips to speak, be sure you have thought thoroughly about what you mean and how it will affect the other person before it all spills out.
2. Control your rage
When you are red angry, it can be impossible to think straight. If you give into your rage, you can hurt your significant other more than you know, and it can leave scars in your relationship. Remember that in a relationship, your word and actions have so much power. No matter how much the other has wronged you, have a good character and decide to control your rage the best you can.
3. Apologize first
Whether you are the person that is accusing someone or you are defending yourself, be the bigger person and apologize first. If your end goal is to overcome the fight, then this is crucial. If your significant other is fighting with you, the odds are, they are very hurt. You’ll be amazed at what a genuine “I’m sorry” can do for the peace of mind of your partner.
4. Say it, don’t scream it
Keeping a mellow tone of voice can work wonders for overcoming a fight with your significant other. As social and relational beings, we are likely to follow the lead of who we are speaking to. If someone is yelling at you, don’t just lash out and yell back. Pause, listen and calm the situation with a calm spirit and tone of voice. Bring the level down to a peaceful tone and you are likely to have a more peaceful conclusion.
5. Don’t pick at old scars
When you are in a fight with your significant other, it can be impossible to overcome if you keep bringing up old news. The moment you become angry it can be tempting to list off all the other things he/she has done to make you upset, but resist, focus on the topic at hand and don’t give into the temptation to make your point by bringing up what’s in the past.
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