How to build a strong relationship foundation

Many of us want to have successful relationships. It’s something we all strive for but figuring out what the best foundation for a successful relationship isn’t always easy.

Obviously, attraction plays a great role in what  initially grabs our attention but what comes after that? There’s a saying by Lao Tzu, “the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long.” Often times we find that the people we are most attracted to are not necessarily the best match for us. The attraction might be very strong but without a great foundation it will quickly fade or turn to hatred and frustration. Then, we often chase that flame that has already dwindled, desperately trying to bring it back to life. Even if we do get it to burn again for a short period of time, it’s never as bright and it is never the same.

So does this mean that the only people we will have a successful relationship with are those that we are moderately attracted to? No, but we must create a good foundation for that relationship. Often times, when creating that foundation you will realize who is a good match and who is not.

In my opinion, the best foundation for a successful relationship is that of friendship. Having mutual respect for one another, common interests, similar morals and great communication are key components to a strong friendship and ultimately a successful relationship.

Does that mean that you will not fight and have disagreements? Definitely not, but you will be able to get over those arguments and missundersatndings in a healthy way. When people have a great deal of respect for each other, they don’t need to resort to name calling and screaming to get their point across. Actually, it’s been proven that both men and women, but especially men, respond better to a friendly, conversational tone then an agressive one. Also, we often say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment and words are something we can never take back.

So take your time. If you’ve met someone that sparks your interest, take the time to get to know them. Even if the attraction is strong, try and focus on their qualities and traits and see if those work for you long term. Do things you both enjoy and have experiences. Sharing moments and memories might seem trivial now, especially if you are young, but as you get older, you realize memories are all you have.

When you can sit and laugh and have a conversation about shared interests and moments, time just flys and ultimately love will grow there. That’s the right kind of love in my opinion. One based on other factors other than appearance and attraction and sexuality. Although those other factors are important, they shouldn’t be major deciding factors, especially if your ready for a real relationship.


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  • Reply
    October 4, 2015 at 8:50 pm

    Love this post!! Thanks for sharing!

    • Reply
      October 10, 2015 at 10:31 am

      Thank you for reading!

  • Reply
    October 11, 2015 at 7:41 am

    Nice blog! Friendship is the foundation of everything.

  • Reply
    October 11, 2015 at 10:01 am

    Thanks! So my problem is that I’m a huge introvert, and after my girlfriend and I broke up its been extremely difficult to meet new people (since finishing college). However I’m super outgoing, love meeting and engaging people in meaningful conversations. I also feel the best relationships come friendships, they really are! But how do I as an introvert meet someone that could become my best friend the way my ex was? I feel like most girls want that flashy, “manly man” of a guy that expresses himself all over social media about how great he is, whereas that’s never been my type; I’d rather want someone to talk and get to know me because (well, I think I’m pretty fascinating, just like you!) but it feels as though woman these days prefer I market myself on social media so that they can make a decision about me (I guess it’s more efficient than taking the time to get to know someone.) My philosophy has always been to take the time to get to know someone anyway, because you never know, they might just be a really good friend! Do you have any thoughts about this? Thank you!

  • Reply
    October 22, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    Hey. I guess you’re right there. Can I ask you something? You think it’s possible for a girl, to have a lot of male friends? Also when they are in a relationship. What are your opinions?

    • Reply
      October 28, 2015 at 10:00 pm

      Yes if your relationship has a good foundation and lots of trust and respect.

  • Reply
    October 24, 2015 at 11:44 am

    But are you ready for a real relationship?? Hihi 😉

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