Relationships can be our greatest joys in life, and having successful relationships is what we all aim for. Let’s face it, no body wants to go into a relationship thinking it will fail, but most people are counting down the days until one of you calls it quits. As if it isn’t challenging enough to make relationships succeed, adding many miles between the two of you can turn a difficult relationship into a seemingly impossible feat. But take heart, the core aspects of what makes a relationship successful and thriving is the same regardless of any distance. If you and your S.O. can learn how to have a successful long distance relationship, then things will seem much sweeter when the two of you close the distance gap for good.
Challenges in relationships give you the opportunity to grow together and lean on one another. And long distance relationships give you two many challenges to be successful. If two people can remain together, and maintain a healthy relationship despite the distance, it can make the relationship stronger and better than ever.
If you go into a LDR like its a “normal” relationship, you’re just setting yourself and the other person up for failure and disappointment. But if you go into the relationship with the mentality that challenges will come and you are willing to fight for it so be successful, and follow these key rules on how to have a successful long distance relationship, then your long distance relationship has the chance to thrive.
Here’s what I have learned from my personal experiences on how to have a successful long distance relationship:
Communication is the number one thing that people talk about on how to have a successful relationship, regardless of the distance. Yet in a long distance relationship, communication is your life blood. Screw this up, and you’re ruining your chances of having a successful relationship. But if you master how to communicate in a long distance relationship, then your chances are better than ever.
How does the other person prefer to communicate?Learn this quick, and be open minded. We live in a world where we have dozens of ways to communicate… Text messaging, phone calls, face time, skype, FB messenger, Whats app, Instagrams DM’s, writing letters… you get the picture. Point is, long distance relationships are easier these days than they ever have been before thanks to our good friend the internet.
If you learn the way that the other person prefers to communicate and learn to adapt your tone and means of communication to theirs, you’re bound to help your chances of success. For example, if your S.O. thinks texting one another 24 hours of the day is impersonal and monotonous, but calling is a more personal and enjoyable way to communicate, then don’t take it like they don’t want to talk to you if they don’t respond to your thread of 17 texts and emojis right after another. Instead, realize it’s just different than how they communicate and be willing to call them instead of text and vice versa.
2. Be respectful and selfless
Respect for the other person is a key point in making any relationship successful. Respect means having and practicing a deep understanding for learning, appreciating and being selfless for who the other person is. Understand that in a relationship, you should be treated with a respect, too, and be willing to stand up for yourself when you are not. Speak with kindness, understanding, and love to the other person even when you are in a bad mood, having an off day, or feeling hurt. What is important to the other person should be important to you.
When you get into a relationship, your goal should not be to be loved, to be served or to make yourself happy. Your goal should be to love, serve and make the other person happy. When two people are selfish, then you will have a relationship that is abusive. When two people are selfless, then you will have a relationship that is successful and makes one another feel safe and cared for.
3. Understanding for the other person’s schedule
Odd’s are, if you are in a long distance relationship, you are both up to something important. Whether it is school, work, family relationship, or chasing a dream, there is usually a pretty good reason the two of you are so far away. If that’s the case, then understand that the other person has other things going on. If you establish good and fair communication boundaries (number one) and are respectful of that person and selfless about their life and needs (number two) then understanding for their life and schedule should come more naturally. It can be hard to stare at your phone waiting for that text or call when you are doing nothing and they are busy, but if they don’t respond right away, are too tired to talk, don’t get upset or assume the worst. Be understanding of their obligations and commitment and give them time to themselves.
It can be hard to stare at your phone waiting for that text or call when you are doing nothing and they are busy, but if they don’t respond right away, are too tired to talk, don’t get upset or assume the worst. Be understanding of their obligations and commitment and give them time to themselves.
4. Commitment to make time for them even if you’re in other time zones
As if long distance relationships aren’t hard enough… add an international gap and a time zone difference and you just knocked things up a notch. It is going to take some serious commitment and sacrifice to make an international long distance relationship successful, but if you learn how to commit to being selfless and understanding, all will be much easier. If you are in two different time zones, then establish the talking times prior, so that you are not waiting up for one another and someone is left hanging. Make it a point to decide your talk times and stick to it like a date. If you are wiped out after a long day at work and just need to hit the hay, or if something comes up and you just can’t make your time slot, don’t just leave the and the other person is waiting up at a god-forsaken hour for your call, let them know and don’t just pass out. This will take understanding and sacrifice by both
If you are wiped out after a long day at work and just need to hit the hay, or if something comes up and you just can’t make your time slot, don’t just leave the and the other person is waiting up at a god-forsaken hour for your call, let them know and don’t just pass out. This will take understanding and sacrifice by both sides but is key to how long distance relationships are successful.
5. Keep it fun!
Fun times may be hard to have when you two aren’t close. Make it fun in new ways! Whether it’s silly snap chatting one another with funny filters, sending a daily good morning video they can look forward to waking up to, get creative and embrace it. Facetime each other and play games or watch the same TV show at the same time. Sending surprise gifts is a great way to cheer the person up and make them feel like a piece of you is there with them.
Better yet, work together to plan a trip to go see each other and meet up in the middle. Traveling with and to one another can be a fun advantage of being in a long distance relationship. Odds are, this is just a season for you two, so dont let the distance get you down. Have fun, and enjoy each others company… even if you are miles and miles away.